Responsibility: the ability to respond and choose our response. Don’t we all want more ways and a greater ability to respond to Tango music? to our Tango partner? to navigational changes? to Tango movement? to our emotions? to the events of LIFE? Of course. But HOW? How does a Tango Warrior gain a greater ability to respond to all matters of Tango and life? The deeper question is how do we learn, grow and change most effectively.
The CON of Responsibility
The CON of responsibility is that we think we need to DO MORE things to gain responsibility. A teacher of metaphysics taught me a way to learn responsibility was to take on more- more projects, more classes, more volunteering, more challenges. A part of me, even at my young age of 17, felt my teacher had CONNED me in some way. It seemed that my teacher just wanted me to do more, and in doing more, I did not really gain that much more ability to respond. In fact, many of my mentors have held a similar perspective that I will grow and learn by taking on more- doing more. However, none of them gave me the critical distinction that makes a huge difference with growing my ability to respond WHILE taking on more work or doing more. I had been conned.
Highly Discerning Feedback
Highly discerning feedback (HDF) vastly accelerates learning, promoting great change, growth and evolution in any endeavor. For example, I could do thousands of voleos without changing/ learning much of anything, and most likely would just entrench existing movement patterns. Or I could do just dozens of voleos and learn what it might take years to change. The difference in these scenarios is that I received HDF- highly competent course corrections that gave me the exact knowledge of what I CAN change, HOW to change, AND how to be aware if I am getting closer or further from what I am trying to change.
Lifting the Great Weight of Responsibility
When most people hear the word “responsibility”, they often associate great weight with the word- pain, burden, duty, accountability, and negativity. Without HDF, “responsibility” often becomes weighty. In addition, it appears challenging to find HDF. I often have had to look with much effort to uncover who or what has the HDF. In another blog I referred to one aspect of HDF as deeper truth. A Tango Warrior lifts the great weight of responsibility by relentlessly pursuing HDF whenever they want to learn, grow and change anything in their Tango or life.
The BIGGEST CON of Responsibility- Another Primary Mistake of a Tango Warrior
The biggest con of responsibility and a primary mistake of a Tango Warrior is to DENY making the choices that could or do account for what one is experiencing in their life. Many definitions of responsibility are about being accountable. But originally, an individual MADE choices that had them ACCEPT those accountabilities, those responsibilities. Ultimately, the weight around responsibility is an outcome of denial of the choices made!
Perhaps some events just happen – that is highly debatable. However, what seems much less debatable is that the quality and meaning of any event is 100% our choice, that our lives are the consequences of choices we really did make- not just random occurrences. Furthermore, we have much more influence of what events and people we draw to us than we exercise and use.
The Way of the Tango Warrior’s Second Responsibility- RESPONSIBILITY
- First Responsibility: A Tango Warrior accepts that NO WAY exists- that there are only choices and consequences of those choices
- Second Responsibility: A Tango Warrior does not DENY their choices, but is aware they DID MAKE choices that have vastly influenced their experience and nature of their present life. And a Tango Warrior is able to deal with responsibility by seeking out HDF in their learning.