I sit here contemplating how to start my blog while listening to “Nothing Else Matters” by Inquisition Symphony.  I chose this song because of its complexity, beauty, and the depth of which it permeates my soul.  Tango does this to me – permeates my soul.  Tango does more than this – 95% of what I am passionate about shows up in Tango – Tango FEEDS me, pulls me, shoves me, heals me, cuts me, angers me, humbles me, loves me, spits at me and caresses me.  Tango is my life now, and there has been no going back for quite some time.  Tango is my mistress, and from the beginning she seduced me as the most horrifying but enchanting of sirens.

I started dancing and training in Tango on November 3rd, 2005.  Since I started Tango my life has become so completely different.  I am actually embarrassed at some of the changes – from health nut to healthy but a cigar aficionado; from facilitator of Soul/ life changes and healer to business consultant doubling the profitability of businesses in under 1 year; from caring about many politically correct things to caring more about alternative music versus traditional tango music.

Enough of the changes – I sit here on the precipice of putting my self out as not just a dancer, but as a new teacher, tango web resource and community leader.  I am scared – even though I have heard from many who do like me and give me lots of encouragement, I have also heard from a few people who do not like me.  I want to be liked.  Pretty common, eh?

Tango has become my community.  And I want to contribute much more.  And now I am reading over my last paragraph, concerned how I will be perceived by even putting these words out.  I just want to dance.  Actually, I want much more than this.  I want to help bring others to this world of Tango.  In my deep desire to share my own joy and invite and inspire others to join in, I must put my self out.  It is not OK to just sit by dancing, and NOT share my joy, my knowledge, my passion of what has grabbed and dragged my Soul into such a vastly different world.

Now what?  Continue sharing my bliss.

Last night was a Milonga in Boulder.  I didn’t go.  This is a rarity.  What I did instead was to watch 2 movies I own — “Van Wilder” and “American Wedding” of the American Pie series.  Why would I, a bona-fide Tanguero, intoxicated by the mistress, watch these two silly movies instead of Tango?

Emotionally, these two movies spark within very present in-my-face challenges through two characters going forth with one’s imagined dream life.  Van Wilder wrestles with going forth by daring to be great.  Jim (of American Wedding) wrestles with going forth by continuing in the face of several ridiculous and embarrassing disasters he creates.  They both prevail.  Good message.  Excellent encouragement.  I am still scared…