Allowing oneself to experience desire from the core is paradise. In Tango, desire is one of the most powerful energies/ ways to connect with one’s partner.

On Saturday I danced out at Cheesman Park.  Thanks to Darlene and her inspiration, we now have a regular milonga at Cheesman Park on Saturdays during sunset.  I had a wonderful breakthrough in my dancing.

As I danced with one particular follow, I allowed my desire to be close to her to fill me up and radiate out to her during my expression of dancing.  I instantly discovered a much stronger connection and pleasure in dancing.  I did this with another follow and discovered the same thing — stronger connection and pleasure.

Desire is different than just sexual energy.  I want to distinguish between them.  Desire is an energy of wanting, not necessarily having sex.  Desire can be felt and expressed in many ways.  The desire I felt was wanting to just be closer.  Now, some sexual energy did rise, but instead of just having it congeal in one area of my body (as what happens in lustful desire), I allowed the energy/ feeling of desire fill my whole body and connected that desire with the music, with my follow, with her steps, with my steps, with the gentle breeze, with her movements, with my breath.

I noticed I did a few things differently.  I looked more at my follow.  I had more surging quality in my walk.  I had a greater connection with the music.  I had a stronger posture — being more upright, and more outward lead from my heart and chest.

For many reasons which I did not know at the time, I have been not stoking my desire.  I realized quite awhile after that I did not want to put my self out so strongly.  I wanted to keep some of me in reserve so to speak.  I believed that if I put out my desire strongly, I would be rejected.  Now it is possible I will still be rejected — that a follow might pull away from my energy of desire.  Yet, wherever that belief came from, it is not with me now.  That belief certainly has not been helpful, but hindering.

I have since been playing with stoking desire in my dance.  When I fill with desire, I am also filling with me, or said another way, connecting more fully with my core.  My core is about desire.  According to the Abraham-Hicks material (info on manifesting), all humans at their core have great desire and we are in this life to connect with our desire, choose what we want, and express it by manifesting our desires.

I believe part of why few people dance with desire is two-fold.  For many, desire for another in Tango equals sexual attraction.  Second, to connect with our desire also brings up how often we have not manifested our desires and hence experienced the hurt/ pain of wanting but not getting.

In the tantric workshops I have attended, we engaged in exercises called Pujas where we looked into another’s eyes and on purpose projected different things.  For example, imagine that the person in front of you is your life-mate and you instantly love them more deeply than ever before.  Or, the person in front of you in your mother asking for full forgiveness.  Or, the person in front of you desperately needs your healing and blessing so project that into their eyes.  The bottom line purpose of pujas is to deepen one’s ability to connect with another.  This connection does not have anything to do with sexual intercourse.

So, in Tango I have explored imagining my partner as a beautiful being, a full goddess, wanting to be held in loving care as I dance.  Or my partner is a playful soul wanting to feel me fully alive with her exploring the desire in the music.

However, in my experience of working with hundreds of clients as a therapist/ life coach, I have witnessed how hard it is for so many to feel their desire.  As soon as someone connects with their desire, they also connect to the accumulated hurt of not getting their desire.

I recommend exploring feeling the desire of connecting with a partner, and manifest that desire through feeling the magnificence of the connection.

When I don’t feel my desire as I enter a milonga, I often imagine this might be the last opportunity I get to connect, the last milonga I may ever attend.  Any hesitation I have over connecting fully to myself and partner quickly dissipates.

I am so excited to further explore my desire in more dances.