Dare to be Better and the impossible eventually becomes possible

Star Trek blasted onto movie screens Thursday, demanding an answer to a compelling command – Dare to be Better.  I left the theatre shaken, for I did not want to answer the command, nor even think about it.  I tried my best to not face personal realities and dreams that the movie dredged up.  However, after 3 days I am still left with the command, Dare to be Better.

I entered into Argentine Tango at the beginning of my midlife transition, which has become more of a crisis and transformation.  Tango has been the nexus of my midlife transformation and all of the changes I have made, and NOT made.  Star Trek’s command makes me ponder with great unease how I seem to have manifested much less than my ambitions of years past AND how much less inspiration I have now.  In fact, since before I entered Tango, I haven’t been inspired by ambitions, lofty goals, grand ideals or even of humanitarian endeavors as I once was.

Early in my life, at 17, I began to ask a question- “What does it take to change?  grow?  transform?”  Many answers have appeared, some stayed, others left, and many evolved.  All of my answers I have filed under influencing factors for change.  One influencing factor is being inspired by great people that Dare to be Better.  This factor of being inspired by great people seems to have slipped away a lot – Star Trek reminded me.

Another influencing factor that creates change is the pain/ pleasure scale, which says, when the pain of your current reality is greater than the possible perceived pain of what it takes to change your current reality, you will change your current reality.  As J. J. Abrams’ version of Star Trek flashed across the giant screen, some of my before tango dreams flashed across my mind – entering into the N.A.S.A. program, humanitarian endeavors, world travels, sailing, scuba diving, flying gliders, passionate partnership, and others.  The contrast of what my dreams have been and what I currently experience has tipped the pain/ pleasure scale for me to change my current actions.  The ending of my midlife crisis is the realization of unfulfilled dreams.

The command, Dare to be Better, shows up in Tango for many.  In learning Tango, a person must deal with changing habitual ways of moving the body.  Every change of a habitual body movement involves dealing with the emotions behind the creation of the habitual body movement.  And learning a new way of moving engages the body in a different way, which often necessitates changing a body-based habit.  It is easy to uncover people’s emotional and life issues through how they Tango and how they learn Tango.

I maintain how we are in life shows up in Tango, and how we are in Tango shows up in life!  Tango dares us to be better by moving better.

I once encountered a beginning student in a private that had lost a great deal of her basic motivation to grow and change.  At an early point in the private, I said to become better at Tango you will need to work on your balance as if you were in a gym exercising.  So let’s do that now.  She immediately crossed her arms, got stiff, and looked away with anger and fear.  She did not want to actually do any work.  I reflected of how I saw myself in her – I wondered where some of my motivation had gone.

Many of the main characters in the new Star Trek movie are faced with life and death situations which dare them to be better or die.  I believe the threat of death is the most powerful influencing factor to create change in a person.  However, we often are not faced with death or any other strong influencing factor for change.  Therefore, I believe to change our behaviors in our lives and create the life we truly want, we need to purposefully introduce an influencing factor for change.

I am sure this new Star Trek movie has ushered in a new era of daring to be better for more than a few trekkies.  So here I am, yearning for what James T. Kirk has – an internal daring to be better – so I can Tango better and live better.  Can any of you relate?