I just snapped out of a 4 ½ year Tango Trance through my exploration of how I have not been fully authentic in Tango nor life by dancing and living as an apology.

What does it take to live and dance authentically?

In Tango, my authentic dance is passionate, cheesy, over the top dramatic at times, silly, playful, fun, mistakes sprinkled throughout, sensuous, does not follow some Tango rules, sad, slow, pauses, melodic, repetitive, and sloppy at times.

In dancing more authentically, I would: open up my embrace more often and check out the mischief I can get into with my partner; dance slower; dance all 5 movement elements in a tanda; lead vocabulary I have not used much; use less energy in my lead; use more pauses; use less motion but more efficiency; breathe more; be sillier; and experiment with how fun movement in Tango can be. And I would train WAY more focused at practicas.  Bottom line is that I would experiment a huge amount of time.

I have experimented a little here in Portland with dancing my dance at practicas.  Overall, I liked where I saw my exploration going.  However, I also received a little of what I consider harsh responses a few times, which were harsh enough to make me deeply reflect if I wanted to continue to experiment much at all.

What is of greater interest now is how I am expressing myself in life.  Well, my life has mostly been Tango.  So many times I have sat in Milonga halls and thought to myself, this is my life, and how do I feel about spending a third to half of my waking hours in milongas/ practicas?  At times I have desired to experience 40 festivals in a year – seriously!

My life has not worked so good living in Milonga halls.  Don’t get me wrong – I am so in love with Tango.  Yet in dealing with the world of Tango, and living most of my life within this world, I discovered that many other things in life I want are not manifesting and probably won’t in Tango in the near future or ever.

So, I went out of the Tango world and checked out a little of what was going on in Portland.  For the first time here I looked at an events calendar outside of Tango and explored.  In 3 days I went to opening night of 3 storytellers sharing their tales; OMSI- planetarium show, Imax show, exhibits; witnessed ecstatic dance; and went on a date with someone outside of Tango for the first time in 4 ½ years.

As I snapped out of this 4 ½ year Tango trance, I became clear of what my authentic dance and life is now.

In life, my authenticity is expressing my imagination, creativity and full life force by sparking people alive to their true radiance, and emotionally moving and inspiring them to make a difference on helping humanity radiate its brilliance.

How I do this is by creating and facilitating E.S.P. Multi-Media & Sensory Journeys™ — Emotional, Spiritual and Physical journeys through multi-media and sensory technologies, dramatic storytelling, intentional breath and other surprises.

My intention is through these journeys, each individual is delightfully compelled to reflect, heal, shift perspectives, inspired, and takes action upon their own soul’s desires, and leaves the journey revitalized, energized, more awake, more aware, humbled, humored, emotionally moved and consistently reports feeling more alive weeks after the experience.

Thanks Tango.  Thanks Portland.  I leave with an excerpt from Jerusalem by Meister Eckhart:

“Who must God have made love to in order to have given birth to all this sound, to this sacred spectrum of color, scents, and music from the wind’s body and existence’s plea for mercy – that plea for the real mercy, unbearable joy?  Once we had four legs and tails so useful to balance our raid into heaven, and I found them again.

I am a swimming galaxy tonight.  Angels prowl around me hoping I will toss them a fresh piece of light — here dears, here, my sack is full.”