Seattle Tango Magic Salmon Bake pavilion on Lake Washington Harbor photo by Natalia

The Seattle Tango Magic Festival Salmon Bake cast its spell well before I arrived.  Ever since I heard the rave reviews and felt the mystical aura radiating from the words of those who spoke about this unique event, I yearned to dance there.

As I drove over the Lake Washington Bridge to Kirkland with my newfound magical tanguera, the Salmon Bake became real.   Anticipation grew as my inner child jumped up and down in excitement as if I was waiting in line to be strapped into a rollercoaster (I used to have summer passes to amusement parks).

Then something curious occurred.  While driving up Lake St. to Marina Park, I was flabbergasted by throngs of people walking around in their bathing suits.  I knew Seattle had a heat wave thrust upon it as the thermometer reached over 96 that day.  However, to see so many people walking on beaches to my left and on the streets with bikinis, flip flops, cut off shorts, and guys going shirtless I thought I had transported to San Diego!

I parked; quickly strode to the pavilion; scoped out a spot for my tango suitcase; looked at the long line waiting for salmon and promptly asked my companion to dance.  Upon entering the dance floor with my stunning tanquera partner in a red sparkle camisole, I beamed.

Only a few other couples joined us so we had practically unlimited space to use.  A slight breeze blew into the pavilion with the smell of salmon wafting throughout the space.  The Tango music thumped in my heart.  I floated in my trance and laughed at the delightful movements my partner expressed.  Onlookers gazed at this different sensual and passionate dance – calling forth even more passion.  I danced two tandas in tranced out bliss.

To say this moment was simply a festival highlight is woefully inadequate in expressing my deep appreciation.  That night continued for me with many tandas – this special milonga space infused every one of my tandas with magic!

A half hour before the sun embarked upon its disappearing act, I finally decided to eat some salmon.  I found my two very good friends and hosts, Steve and Linda, went through the waiting line for food, then sat with them.  Their companionship felt so good!  I watched the sunset as I savored the fresh salmon.  If I died that moment, I knew I would have been at the absolute best place, state of being and with the best people around me to leave this world.

My best friend Craig also attended this festival.  To have shared the moment of the salmon bake with him also holds a special place in my heart.  Craig and I have shared many festivals and Tango experiences, and to be able to hang out with him and share these experiences is priceless.  In addition, the number of Tango friends present at the Seattle festival and at this particular milonga infused my heart with a great joy of being in community, feeling a profound sense of belonging.

The power of this magical milonga space and community of friends present created a potent transcendent experience.  This will be one of my favorite Tango memories for all my years, and I suspect upon my deathbed, I will recall the Seattle Salmon Bake.  This singular event left an indelible mark upon my heart, spirit and mind.

Seattle Salmon Bake, I will be back!

What appears in one's mind, is not necessarily appearing...

In the Tango world I have unveiled more than a few illusions, and the fact of uncovering illusions pulls on me to wonder how deep the rabbit hole of the Tango Matrix goes.  Here are several illusions I have encountered:

Entering a new milonga in a new city as the new kid on the block, I spotted a women in Comme Il Faut shoes.  I assumed she had some experience dancing Tango.  After dancing 5 seconds with her, I understand the potential misperception on level of dancing connected with wearing great Tango shoes.  Great Tango shoes does not equal great dancing.

Observing dancers in a new milonga in a new town, I watched for women I wanted to ask for a Tanda.  Five out of the ten women I desired to dance with looked great with the teacher and milonga organizer.  I got to dance with one of them and experienced roboing (when someone automatically performs steps or patterns or moves without any lead, and sometimes continues to move even when the lead is totally silent, doing nothing).  She could not follow, and hung on me with a gas pedaling right arm.  After a dance with another of the Five and the having the same experience, I puzzled over what was going on.

After a third dance of the Five, I decided to watch these 3 of the 5 I danced with, with other tangueros and their teacher.  I realized the teacher had taught patterns, but not how to follow or fundamentals.  His students looked great with him, but could not follow.  That taught me to watch tangueras with different tangueros before I assessed my potential desire for a tanda with them.  Tangueras that dance great with one tanguero, do not necessarily dance great with me.

After attending a good number of festivals, I acknowledge that the quality of teachers does not dictate the quality of dancers attending, nor the quality of DJing.  Enough said.

Even though a tanguera that I want to dance with may not be present near the beginning of the first song, mysteriously and often a tanguera that I desire to dance with appears well after the beginning of a tanda.  Whether it is from the bathroom, outside the milonga hall, from behind someone or a group of people, or from off the dance floor, tangueras may appear.  Waiting often pays off for me.  This seems to happen with tangueros too!  I know that I have appeared from “out of nowhere” and received a cabaceo.  The tanguera that just asked me to dance, sometimes will ask me some version of, “I didn’t see you.  Where were you hiding?”  I just smile and dance.

I think I have done a good job of cabaceoing a tanguera for an entire milonga.  Later in the festival, or perhaps after the festival, I let her know in some communication (IM/ e-mail/ phone/ text) that I really wanted to dance with her and had cabaceoed her.  She responds with, “I didn’t see you/ I wanted to dance with you too/ My sight is terrible/ I didn’t think you would want to dance with me so I didn’t look for your cabaceo.”  And sometimes I have discovered a tanguera was less than truthful in her response to my communication – at a later festival I still did not get her eyes for a cabaceo, but other tangueros did.  Tangueras that use cabaceo, know if they are being cabaceoed, and if they do not respond to a cabaceo, they really do not want to dance with me at that time.  However, I must know if they can see the distance from where I cabaceo them.

If a tanguera wants to dance with me, she will let me know.  If she does not let me know, I am on her B or C list, but not her A list. (A List = must dance with them, and will dance just about any music with them; B List = if someone from A list is not available or have not danced with B list individual in some time; C List = will not dance with them until something changes such as level of dance, level of attraction/ repellant, issue with them, a good amount of time passes)

Without stories, here are observations on illusions that have arisen from stories:

• Just because I watch a tanguera dance a lot one way (open or close embrace) does not mean they do not dance another way.
• Age does not dictate dance ability.
• Years in Tango do not dictate dance ability.
• Dance ability does not dictate level of connection.
• Level of connection often dictates quality of tanda for me – high connection = great tanda!
• Level of kindness of tanguera influences level of connection/ attraction – kinder = greater connection/ attraction!
• Level of rudeness of tanguera influences level of repellant – ruder = greater repellant!
• Everything above about tangueras goes for tangueros

What other illusions have you all found?

One by one and two by two, tangueros and tangueras pranced, sauntered, and ambled into the milonga ballroom.  So many Tango communities represented: Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Las Vegas, Tuscon, San Diego, L.A., Eugene, Portland, Seattle, East Coast cities… the list does go on.  The ladies aroused my pulse with their appearances- so gorgeous!  The gentlemen seemed relaxed, yet ready to cabaceo.

Because of my extensive travels over the past 8 months, I have met so many wonderful people from different Tango communities.  As I recognized each of my friends, I felt more calmed and greater delight.  Never have I known so many of the dancers at one festival.  Tango is my community (and where all of my friends are), and I felt joy at the reunion of so many people from afar.

I luxuriated in many dances: tandas with my angel, a tanguera so sweet, radiant, beautiful and divine that I melt when I am even just around her; another tanguera that had left me speechless and spellbound after some of the best tandas in my life in Houston, once again left me wanting to sit and bask in the afterglow after moving as one in our own world on the dance floor; a milonga tanda with a great friend that I always so enjoy; many tandas with a beaming, stunningly beautiful, childlike tanguera – she brings out my little Dave to play, and she is one of my all time favorites – wow did I have fun; a friend from the rainy country who is so connecting and sensuous, I just enjoy her enthusiasm and ever-present kindess; and other tandas all in all that left me giddy and full.

I am ready for more!  And happy to see that we have at least two DJ’s from our community DJ’ing this festival.

Onto Ulysses and his proposal from his last e-mail- “At your upcoming festival do these two things, and open your eyes to what you see.” Throughout the night, I lightly contemplated the existence of a Tango matrix as I did these two things Ulysses proposed.  Doing them had their challenges, though I consistently did them.  Utter astonishment at what I am uncovering about myself, and some surprise at what I am SEEING with others.

Illusion, causation, and attraction are the strongest words bubbling up to describe my experience of SEEING with my eyes more open.  I’m sure my dances were positively influenced by Ulysses.  The next milonga is about to start – and I’m feeling impish and animated along with a dose of mystical curiosity thrown in

Wow!  What a format of learning Korey and Mila created.  Their classes are taught by one couple, and then we break into cells of 8-10 students.  Two teachers that eventually rotate around work within the cell.  To figure out what cell we are in, each person assigns themselves a number of their skill level between 1-4, 4 being at teacher level, and 1′s at beginner level.  And then each person pairs up with someone with a level that adds up to 5.

Korey (I don’t know who is responsible for what) at one point had students dancing with levels that would add up to 5.  A concept I am still exploring the merits of – seems cool right now.

Also, the information presented didactically helped me to understand Korey’s intentions for the weekend, as well as having guest presentations to took advantage of great resources from individual’s within the group.  Some actually have lives outside of Tango , or use to.

In addition, more traditionally based classes were presented.  However, the class I took from Murat and Michelle are anything but traditional.  I can conclusively say how much more I and others learn when teachers use great teaching methodology.  M & M are such teachers!

Alex Krebs taught with Jennifer Olson – this is the first time I got to watch him share his gifts – mmmmmmmmmm.  Now I know why he has adoration from so many tangueros/as – he is spot on with sequencing movements, while communicating clearly and succinctly.  I did not have to think to understand his directions!  And then all the leads and follows separated, while all of the festival teachers went around to individuals assisting on the moves presented – yesssss.  That works!  Oh, and they wore these great white Chef hats – sooooo cool.

Furthermore, we danced at around 7 venues guerrilla style.  Always interesting for those who watch and dance.  I just had fun – I don’t know how effective of a marketing tool this is, but I enjoy the sense of great freedom to just goof around.  Yeah, I usually goof around anyway, but at least in guerilla style, I think more people join in the goofing around.

Overall, I felt better yesterday with all of the inclusiveness, cooperation, and kindness most people showed.  I danced quite a bit, yet I still felt so much beauty inaccessible.  I am not able to express so much of what I want.  However, so many great leads on the dance floor inspired me.  The impromptu performances added to inspiration – but the funny thing is that the dancing level is soooooo high, that just watching the floor during the milongas is similar to watching performances. Ahhhhhhhh.  Such beauty!

I felt invigorated through the learning.  And I did have one tanda where I felt I could communicate and express to some of my highest level of expression ever.  I so wish I could dance with her 1/3 of the time – I am at my best as a tanguero, person and fun loving being as I move with her body and Soul.

So, how am I aligning with the beauty I witnessed on the dance floor?  I’m still stone, alone, raw as bone.  And I still yearn to share more of my beauty and be beauty in all aspects of my life.

Joseph Campbell wrote a lot on following our bliss – bliss for me is in the intimacy shared on and off the dance floor.  Intimacy with others, with self, with my own expression, and with the greater all.  I guess my stone is heating up.

Here at the first night of Stone Soup in Eugene, OR I witnessed a milonga floor filled with teachers, talent, obsession, joy, and beauty.  My mood meandered as much as the varied expressions I witnessed.  Sometimes I believe I am one of the tortured tangueros – heavy as stone.

This usually happens at the beginning of a good festival – the first night is populated with great dancers and I go through the following:  inspired at how beautiful so many dancers express; excited at how I may grow in my own dance, and the wonderful tandas that seem promised; humbled by the volume of skill I would like to and need to absorb; depressed at how little I seem to be able to give in a dance compared to the great talent in the room; and being hesitant to ask many tangueras for a dance for I just seem so bland compared to the gourmet tangueros.

On top of all of this, I go through my own questioning – do I belong here?  And most painful is when so many people walk off with friends, colleagues, and significant others – I go back to my RV alone to ruminate while being with my dear cat.

My night did start with a Tanda that I live for  - I felt so connected that my partner and I did not separate between songs, that I had that sweet spot of balance and connection that allowed me to express musical nuances, and I breathed the Tango and felt her right there with me.  I would have loved to have dance 10 tandas with her.  I had little flash, and later saw how much flash many tangueros could dance with her as she moved so beautifully with many very skilled tangueros.  My two tandas with her brought up the movie, American Beauty.

In the movie, American Beauty, the most intriguing, emotionally moving and haunting scene for me is where two characters watch a video of a plastic bag blowing in vertical circles in the air.  The feelings that course through me during that video are similar to what I felt by the end of the milonga – seeing incredible beauty with my eyes and feeling deep beauty in my heart, yet feeling profound sadness at how much of the rest of my life does not match the beauty I experience in so many ways on the dance floor.

My saving grace perhaps is the exquisite beauty within Tango that draws me back to express so much of what I feel in the music, with my dance partner, and the eternal hope I will, as time passes, be able to express and align myself with the full beauty in how the plastic bag dances in the wind of American Beauty in both Tango and my life.  I feel a little too stone like right now.

KUDOS to all that have made this UNIQUE Tango gathering possible!

On Friday night (4/24) at the Mercury Cafe in Denver, CO, I experienced a surreal, confounding and emotionally charged evening at the strangest milonga I have yet witnessed.  On this night, Extasis, our local talented Tango band chose to have their CD release party.  That should have been the first clue that things would be different – parties at the Merc take on a life of their own.

The Mercury Cafe has become similar to the land of Oz – a magical, fanciful atmosphere that imbibes all who enter with a sense that they are not in Kansas anymore.  Consider the tiger jumping through a neon fire ring on the wall, various x-mas lights hanging as loops, the puppets in the rafter upstairs (don’t know if they are still there), assorted glass balls hanging, art that – is – well – art, and so many other artifacts picked out of time and space, not belonging to this time.  I LOVE this cafe!

We certainly have a cast of characters, such as the munchins (servers), which frequently disappear, not to be seen for up to 10 minutes.  In fact I usually do not know who my personal munchin is for at least 3-5 minutes.  Perhaps they get lost in the poppy fields.

OZ- Marylin, the mysterious owner that oversees all.  She has supported Tango in Colorado since its beginning, and has the loyalty of many teachers.  And she is quite the character – endearing to many.

The Wicked Witch – she exists, but I prefer not to name her perchance she casts a spell upon me.  She isn’t very nice.

Dorothy – oh, a few tangueras come to mind, but none like Elena.  So fair, kind, light and bright.  She is a delight to dance with.

The Good Witch would be JOY – she always has this presence that brings up the fleeting fact that everything is OK.  Her optimism is good-witch-worthy and I think she knows a few good spells to help out.  I am a better person around her.

Straw Man (with his brain) – I think Nick Jones for the fact that he can move in ways that are, well, straw like – flexible, amazing and fast.

Tin Man – no comment.

Toto – Roberta’s dog that makes an occasional appearance at local Tango events.

Before the surreal events unfolded, I had already experienced angst and part of my transitional crisis in my dancing.  My night had already posed the question, “Why am I here, why am I dancing, will my dancing improve significantly, when will I move to a different base?”  I had this nagging feeling to not go down to the Merc that night, but I went anyway out of my desire to connect and get floor time in as I have enjoyed working on some musicality playfulness.

Then it happened.  The monkeys descended from the sky as Marilyn announced we would have 4 Tango competitions.  Whoever participated would be judged on best fashion, best tango, best vals, best milonga.  Ouch – I got into Tango knowing competition was not part of the dance.  This was all done in good fun, but some of us were not having fun.  Speaking for myself, I felt the lingering moments of not being good enough come up when I was a very uncoordinated child in elementary school gym class events.  I was usually the last to be chosen.

And then I fast forwarded to how competitive I have been at events where I crushed my opponents – thereby feeling horrible about myself, and ruining connection with others.  Competition with others does not foster connection with myself or anyone else.

I love my own personal internal drive and desire to better myself.  I do not think Tango is a place for competition- and certainly not at a milonga.  With over an hour and 20 minutes of competition, performances, prizes, and talking – I thought, where is the dancing?  I want my $12 back.

Then after a tanda played so the judges could confer, I discovered to my dismay-  first, second and third prizes would be awarded.  The only reason I didn’t leave was to watch a promised performance with Nick and Amy.  They rocked- Nick led Amy to do things only an experienced Ballerina could do – in a Tango way.  Fun, interesting, different.  Yeah to our local talent.

Oh, Exstatis, the band, announced another competition to one of their harder to dance to songs.  I left the floor waiting for the performance and left after the performance.

But wait, there’s more, not only do you get prizes, performances, but FIRE oh my!  I will NEVER forget this image – as I sat in the upper row of seats:  all of a sudden of my right field of vision I am drawn to a large flame on top of Donna’s head as she is leading Marilyn who is balancing a large curved sword on her head.  SURREAL.  I may never see such a sight again.  And of course with Donna’s voluminous hair, it caught fire and Mark quickly rushed to blow it out.

OH MY – Oz has gotten stranger.